A Letter To Me, From Me

Suddenly I have the urge to read my old diary. I've stop written them since I was going to take SPM haha. I was wondering that I might write again someday. The diary was full with depressed, sad and intense thoughts. I remembered that when I was writing, my tears would flow. I might cry almost every night hurm.

I didnt know when I started became so bitter and depressed. Well, it was not to obvious because in school I still hang out with friends. Laugh and do pretty much all the things that a teenage girl would do. Maybe I was thinking too much when I'm alone. Maybe I always have been the bitter girl. After that one bad past, my life was upside down. 2010. It was my downfall. I've realized that since then, I cant love myself completely. Sometimes, I wonder what did I do that I deserve all of these?

I know, I shouldnt think like that.

After that I always want to be more than anyone that I hate. I want to show them that I can be better than them. To show them that I am no longer a stupid teenage girl. Alhamdulillah, I am really grateful that my prayers were granted in His own way. I may have not become a doctor as I wish for but I am glad for what I have now.

I am still waiting for another beautiful years of life. Right now, just seize the moment.

7/8/2011

My life is great right? I never been loved by a guy that I'm interested. The only thing I get is broken heart. Atiqah, be strong okay. I know its hard for you but you should move on. That stuff that you were worried are not important. You can find a better person. Insyaallah. You will never be alone. Allah had decided it. You wont get heart broken again. Forget all the ridiculous stuff for a moment, focus on your studies. That is the most important thing right now. You can think about this after you finish your last SPM paper. And trust me, these people are not important at all. If they truly love you, they wont be able to hurt you. Dont forget, your parent still love you. You still have your family and friends to support you. You dont need a guy right now in your life. Its better off to forget them like how they forget you. Be happy with yourself. They are the one that blind for not seeing the best of you. You are better than them, remember that YOU are BETTER than them! You can do better than them. Insyaallah. 

Love, Me